People that know me well would be surprised that I am fascinated by the claims that such a thing as a Vortex can be identified and it's energy leveraged to enhance all sorts of spiritual navel gazing, meditation and conversations with the voices in one's head. Vortexes have been staked out in the red rock beauty of Sedona, Arizona. No surprise, the awe inspiring scenery opens the door for all sorts of speculation concerning energy concentration, crystal power centers and rumors of tee shirts dyed with red dirt from a local jeep's knobby tires. Allegedly some Vortexes are male, some female and some described as balanced. Several times in the last 4 years, I've hiked to the top of the popular "airport mesa vortex" right in the town of Sedona. Fantastic views, plus its always busy with tourists clamoring all over the rock formation and goofy locals reading palms and offering guided tours of the afterlife, courtesy of the energy concentration. I've never felt anything but annoyed!
Last Monday I was visiting friends in nearby Cornville. Yes, I was still feeling a little blue and knew there was some piece of business that wasn't finished. Then I remembered Bell Rock. A fickled Vortex according to the locals, but that's OK, I needed to vent. It was a very stormy morning and thank god, it kept the tourists away. I had Bell Rock all to myself, sitting about half way up on the west side, watching the storm clouds roll by. It was the perfect time to scream, praise, curse and have a damn good cry; proclaiming my undying love and final goodbyes to My Girl Lady. No questions were answered that morning (though many were asked), but on the hike back I felt completely cleansed and refreshed, ready to start another chapter of my life. I thought a lot about my Hummingbird encounter that had occurred just 3 days earlier (I really needed to make sense of it).....
Friday morning, March 4, 2011 - 3 days after Lady went to the bridge.
The weather has finally turned here in Phoenix. Mid morning I had the MDX parked, windows and back open, loading a few things for that day. I completed my task, got in the driver’s seat and reached for the key to start the ignition and head out on an errand. It was very quiet that day and then I heard it: a dull tight buzz coming from behind me. “Hmmm, my car doesn’t make that sound”. Then I heard it again. I turned my head to the right to peer into the back and there she was. A Eugenes Fulgens, yes a Magnificent Hummingbird (their actual name) perched on top of the passenger side rear seat. I learned it was a female when I looked up the species on the Internet. The seat back was now up in the “up” human position, but has spent the last three years in the Lady position (down). Miss Hummingbird didn’t panic or fly away; she just sat there looking around the inside of the MDX. I slowly got out, walked to the back, her little head following my path. I opened the rear hatch, then after about 5 seconds (which seem like an eternity) she flew out, never in a panic, no banging or touching anything inside the car. My Dad saw her perched for a second as I opened the hatch and of course, saw her fly out.
Wow, I just couldn’t make up a story like this. I’m not that clever.
On the hike down from Bell Rock, I allowed myself to believe the obvious - a messenger arrived to confirm that Lady has made it to the Rainbow Bridge and is running free with Mully, The Luke, Max, Cowboy, Devo, Cosmo, Sunny and so many more (it’s a very long list). Bless them all. We’ll see you soon.
I’m not sure why I am privileged to receive this communiqué, I've never had one before. The difference is (I guess) - I wasn't looking for it! Maybe its as simple as that.
Just when you were beginning to give up on today's youngest generation, they go and do this! Some very cool stuff they are doing in the 6th grade as a school assignment. Brian is the director and his brother Kyle appears as the deer. Well done guys.
Yesterday afternoon Lady crossed over to the bridge. She began to shut down, her organs attacked by the evil cancer. The last and kindest mercy was necessary sooner that I had planned, but there was no doubt what I had to do for my dear, sweet girl. She passed in my arms, free of her pain, knowing how much she was loved. I will miss her and remember her for the rest of my life. I can't thank you all enough for your kind words. So many questions and doubts flood your mind as you contemplate the gut-wrenching options. I found strength and light in every one of your sincere messages. As far as blog-land goes, I will always be known as KT and Lady; a lifelong reminder of my first, entirely digital Golden who inspired so many of these pages. Here is one of the many beautiful quotes and thoughts that were sent my way.
"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle; easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we would still live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan." -- Irving Townsend
A Young Dog Once Again
You're giving me a special gift, So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing when your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts Will only be in vain.
So looking deep into your eyes, Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic that will Once more make me whole.
The strength that you possess, Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done, For it's the only way.
That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...My partner till the end.
Please, understand just what this gift you're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost, And all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf, for that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right, for I believe it, too.
So one last time, I breathe your scent,
and through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you, to grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog, my pain and struggle done.
And don't despair my passing, for I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart, and memory I'll stay.
I'll be there watching over you, your ever-faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run….a young dog once again.a